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Sun 29 Feb 2004 18:20
by Kevin McGehee
[Here's Your Sign]
[blogoSFERICS]
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At a used car lot on the edge of town
A liberal guy and a liberal gal
Buy a Yugo
And they drive with pride*
Man Killed When SUV Drags Him 8½ Miles
AP
SPRINGFIELD, Va. — A sport utility vehicle hit a man on an interstate highway Sunday and dragged his body—apparently lodged in the suspension—8½ miles to the driver’s home, police said.
» Read the rest.
I’ll bet that driver was surprised when he came outside to greet his returning SUV only to find it had hit and killed a man and brought him home.
*Rush Limbaugh’s “SUV Update” theme (to the tune of “In the Ghetto”), which he uses mostly to talk about news reports like this one. See below.
UPDATE, 3/1: Here’s a case where the SUV didn’t go off and perpetrate a crime all by its lonesome:
Man Drives SUV Into Maui Airport, Sets It on Fire
AP
KAHULUI, Hawaii — A man drove a sport utility vehicle into the ticket lobby of Maui’s main airport Sunday, then set the vehicle on fire, grounding outgoing flights for hours.
» Read the rest.
The FBI has of course ruled out terrorism, as one rather suspects they would even if the perpetrator had used an airliner instead of an SUV.
But y’know what? Given that the vehicle in question was a Dodge Durango, I’m thinking this one will be ruled justifiable SUV-icide.
Here are the rest of the lyrics as I remember them.
‘Cause if there’s one thing that this world needs
It’s environmental friends who’ll take the lead
In a Yugo
They say, “People don’t you understand?
Those Suburbans are ruining the land!“
But they’ll wish they had a full-size van one day
They’re pointing fingers at you and me
They say we’re too blind to see
But do we simply use our heads
And choose a better way
As those small wheels turn
Fifty miles to the gallon and their knees on their chests
They’re gonna save a lot of gas for all the rest
In a Yugo
Then one day on the interstate
They suddenly lose control
They swerve to miss a baby duck
And are squashed by an SUV—they’re out of luck
But they drove with pride
And as the crowds drive past the little flat car
You know they saved a lot of gas but they didn’t get far
In a Yugo
And as they’re trapped inside
At a used car lot on the other side of town
A liberal guy and a liberal gal
Buy a Yugo
And they drive with pride
© Paul Shanklin
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