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Tue 1 Feb 2005 14:29
by Kevin McGehee
in Coweta County, GA
5 comments
[Media Ochre]
[Yippee-Ki-Yay!]
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Terrorists in Iraq have captured G.I. Joe!
UPDATE:
 Girlfriend Pleads for Soldier’s Release
ULP
MALIBU—The U.S. soldier held hostage by insurgents in Iraq is “a wonderful man” who should be released from captivity, his girlfriend said today.
In an impromptu press conference outside her workplace, A.A. Holiday Barbie pleaded with his captors to show mercy and not harm captured soldier G.I. John Adam. “He’s not over there to hurt anyone, he just wants to help bring freedom and democracy to the people of Iraq. He loves his country, and I love him.“
Adam’s captors have threatened to execute him in 72 hours unless the U.S.-led coalition occupying Iraq releases Iraqi prisoners, and to glue his head back on and execute him again if the prisoners are not released within 72 hours after that.
Barbie, flanked by friends and coworkers, begged President Bush to comply with the militants’ demands, and dismissed suggestions that doing so would encourage them to carry out more kidnappings. “These people are obviously desperate,“ she said, arguing that once it became clear that the government would deal with them, they would almost certainly apologize for kidnapping Adam and renounce any further acts.
In a videotaped message released to al-Jazeera television in response to Barbie’s plea, the leader of the insurgents, Cobra Commander, claimed that members of his group had been tortured by their American captors. “I know for a fact that my right-hand man, Jihad Ahmad, has had his arms and legs switched around repeatedly and was forced at one point to sit on his own face in front of a cinderblock backdrop just like the one we used for G.I. John Adam,“ he claimed.
“We only want our comrades released from this abusive treatment so they can go back to their families and strap bomb vests on their beloved sons and daughters,“ said Cobra Commander.
‘NOTHER UPDATE: Reliapundit doesn’t think there’s anything funny about this. Well, I can sympathize, but obviously I don’t agree.
Fact is, ridicule can be a devastating weapon—and my attitude toward those who find laughter unseemly is one of my revolving random quotes at the top of the main page: Anyone can be funny, but people with no sense of humor are hilarious.
‘NOTHER OTHER UPDATE: Those fiends! But John “Cody” Adam won’t break. Cody-Condi in ‘08!
YET ANOTHER UPDATE: Real American Hero, huh? Then why didn’t he tell Holiday he was married?
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